Oh this was just really good. Elyxer I read your post and the one you were responding too. I have been drawn to BDSM since I was about 12 years old. Have never actually lived it. I have had to be a strong person and have never actually met someone that I would be willing to trust enough to let go of the control over my life. I would make a horrible dominant because I don't want the reponsibility of being in control of someone else's life. My husband and I live as equals. I am still fascinated with it though and love to read about it. I have had the unfortunate experience of seeing women who "submit" in a religious context and I find that pretty horrifying--it seems to end up being abusive. What I see of a healthy D/s relationship (non-religious context) I find attractive. It seems that trust and love (agape-genuine concern and affection) are the biggest elements towards making a BDSM relationship work. I like the idea of setting boundaries and writing up contracts--knowing what to expect. Thank you for your comments. This has been thought provoking.